Preparation for Marriage and the Home: Part 1

Wendell Winkler

Introduction:

  1.  In America, one out of every three to four marriages is ending in divorce.
  2. One of the contributing factors to this situation is insufficient preparation, marrying without a proper courtship; therefore, a need for this study.
  3. The points in this lesson should be understood by all those contemplating marriage; also, those things should be understood by parents so they can counsel and guide their young people in the right way.

 

  1. The Need for Courtship
    1. Preparation is necessary for the successful performance of any work or pursuit,
      1. In law, medicine, business, or religion everyone recognizes the need for training.
      2. Lack of preparation will endanger the success of any endeavor.
      3. Because of the exceedingly great importance of marriage, careful preparation should most assuredly be made and this preparation is made during courtship.
    2. God intended for marriage to be a blessing to both man and woman.
      1. An ill-mated couple is a most woeful picture of human wretchedness and unhappiness.
      2. Proper courtship will prevent such.
    3. Observe the incident as related by G. C. Brewer in the book The Home, Dehoff Publications, page 57, to emphasize the need of proper courtship.
  2. What Is The Object Of Courtship?
    1. Courtship is a court of inquiry or a voyage of discovery.
    2. The object and purpose of courtship are to choose a suitable companion for marriage with nature, the temper of mind, taste, aspirations, and ambitions, likes and dislikes similar to one’s own (Amos 3:3).
    3. Courtship should not be a grand scheme of deception.
  3. Admonitions to Keep in Mind during Courtship 
    1. Keep thyself pure.
      1. 1 Corinthians 6:18.
      2. 2 Timothy 2:22.
      3. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.
      4. Romans 13:9.
      5. Be as pure as you want your companion to be.
      6. Remember that there are no two standards; one for the man and another for the woman (Galatians 3:28).
      7. It is a heinous sin fraught with many dangers to one’s health and happiness for those courting to take privileges that belong solely to a husband and wife.
    2. Keep your examination on a high plane.
      1. Avoid petting, for this hurts your influence, hurts the church, and the Lord is not pleased.
        1. Love is sacred and binds hearts together for life.
        2. Promiscuity cheapens love.
        3. Dancing and petting arouse lascivious desires.
      2. Friends who consider virtue old-fashioned will scatter like stardust in time of trouble.
      3. Never lower your standards to lift yourself.
      4. The right kind of companion will always respect you for your purity and will desire to be your companion through life because he will know that he can trust you through life.
    3. Never allow yourself to be treated in a way that will cause you or your companion to look back on your courtship with reproach and disgust.
    4. Let your examination be thorough and extensive.
      1. If then you see you are not suited for each other be honest with each other! And stop as soon as you see such.               
      2. It is better to sever relationships before marriage than to quit after the marriage vows have been spoken.
    5. Do not express your feelings to one in a way that will keep him from marrying another unless you are sure you will marry that person.
      1. It is not fair to lead one along, extend to him false hopes, or to keep her away from another who might make her a good companion unless you want to be that companion.
    6. Do not accept the offer of a blind date.
      1. The individual may be an outlaw, escaped convict, alcoholic, drug addict, or married person.
    7. Do not date anyone the second time which is not modest and prudent (Titus 1:15).
    8. Do not date anyone you barely know. Wait until you know the individual has a good name and reputation (Proverbs 22:1).
    9. Don’t be careless in a matter of dress (1 Timothy 2:9).
    10. Don’t keep late hours.
      1. John 3:19-21.
      2. Such a practice will bring you under suspicion.